Relationships are something most human beings on this planet naturally form. They can be a source of happiness but also frustration. People want a happy relationship, and have different ideas about how the happy relationship should look like, and how happy couples behave inside the relationship. Unfortunately there are many myths that we develop and believe about happy relationships and it’s important to identify them and debunk them in order to avoid having too high or low expectations.
Myth 1: A Good Relationship Means You Will Never Fight with Your Partner
People in happy relationships fight, as humans often disagree with each other. Being in a happy relationship doesn’t mean conflict will be entirely absent. However, happy couples don’t fight the same way as unhappy couples do, and not as frequently. People who have a healthy relationship despite having arguments, rarely attack each other personally, never call each other names, and know how to slow down when the situation is heating up. They also have a lot of empathy for each other which helps them find solutions for their problems.
Myth 2: If There Is Something You Don’t like About Your Partner, That Relationship Is Not Good for You
Everyone has standards and preferences about relationships, and that’s not a bad thing at all. In fact, it’s important to know what you want in a partner and see if they really meet your needs. However every human being has flaws, and when you spend enough time with anyone you will recognize them. That doesn’t mean you need to quit that relationship. The reality is you will probably find something you don’t like in every human being on the planet. As long as the partner isn’t abusive, disrespectful, neglectful, unfaithful, and respects your boundaries, you should give them a chance.
Myth 3: The More Time You Spend with Each Other the Better the Relationship Will Be
Being physically close is surely important for a relationship, but spending a lot of time with each other doesn’t automatically equate better connection. Physical proximity is just one of the many factors that are important for good intimacy. Intimacy also requires mutual understanding. Also, the fact that some people are a couple doesn’t mean they don’t have lives outside of that relationship. If you are insecure you might view your partner’s life separate from you as a threat for your relationship but you should always remember that if your partner loves you, they will love you despite spending time on their own or with other people.
Myth 4: Being in a Happy Relationships Means You Will Always Agree with Your Partner
There probably aren’t any people in the world who completely agree on everything with each other. Being in a relationship with someone means you have a lot in common and probably agree on many things, but there will always be disagreements, differences in opinions and worldviews. That doesn’t mean those disagreements need to be resolved, remember you are both separate individuals and will have separate opinions.
See also: 9 Signs You Are Afraid of Intimacy
Myth 5: In a Good Relationship Sex Is Not Too Important
This myth probably originated from the fact that sex isn’t the only thing that matters in a relationship. However the statement that sex isn’t very important as long as you get along with each other is false. Sex is a very important part of a romantic/sexual relationship, and if it’s absent your relationship is not what it’s supposed to be.
Myth 6: Good Relationships Need a Lot of Work
If you feel like you have to make big efforts to make a relationship work, it’s probably not good for you. Relationships shouldn’t feel like hard work. Yes, there are problems that arise, that couples need to work through together, but that’s different. In a happy relationship you should feel easy with your partner and communicate without too much effort and difficulties. You also shouldn’t feel like you need to work to change your partner and hope that a failed relationship will succeed if you work hard enough.
Myth 7: You Have to Be 100 % Emotionally Healthy to Be in a Good Relationship
No one in this world is 100 % emotionally balanced and without any issues. It’s normal to have insecurities around the relationship or feel irrational emotions from time to time, but if you have ways to cope and work through them, they will probably not affect your relationship much.
Myth 8: In a Good Relationships, Your Partner Will Automatically Know What You Want
No matter how much you partner knows you and understands you, people are not mind-readers and if you want them to meet a certain need you have you need to express it to them. Don’t feel like you are a demanding person if you express a certain need. If your partner loves you and cares about you they will be happy to know what you need, and even happier if they are able to meet that need.