Is your child quiet around strangers? Does he\she blush and withdraw when they encounter people who are not their parents? Many children are shy, and seeing a child display shy and coy behavior can be very cute sometimes. However shyness even though cute, in some cases can be determent to child’s functioning and quality of life. Although many children naturally outgrow their shyness, it’s important to help your child develop self-confidence so they will not suffer from shyness later in life.
1. Don’t Reward Shy Behavior with Positive Feedback
Shy children are often very nice, modest, inhibited, and they are often praised for that behavior by their closest ones. They are usually recognized as nice and adorable by people. Even though shyness might seem like a nice and positive trait to you, the child probably doesn’t feel too good about being shy, and it’s important to encourage him\her to be more outspoken.
2. Don’t Teach Him\Her to Avoid Retaliation When He Is in Conflict with Peers
Some parents think that the best way to help a child that is dealing with peer conflict is to advise them not to retaliate, but to ask a parent or a teacher for help. While this might sound like a good solution with minimal confrontation, it actually teaches the child that they can’t defend themselves when they encounter aggressive people. The child might become submissive as a result and an easy target for bullies, which can totally destroy their self-confidence. To help a child deal with peer conflict teach them some assertiveness skills, so he will feel like he is able to defend himself.
See also: How To Deal With a Spoiled Child
3. Don’t Be Overly Concerned with Her\Him Behavior Around Guests
Some parents are self-conscious themselves and get really anxious when friends and relatives visit them. They want to give the impression of having a perfect home and perfect children. When parents act like this the child can feel the pressure to act the same way. Don’t worry too much if your child spills a drink by mistake, all children do that.
4. Organize Activities for Your Child That Involve a Lot of Interaction with Children His Age
Research has shown that children who grow up in their first years of life alienated and without much social interaction have a much greater difficulty in socializing later in life. The first years of the child’s life are extremely important for his\her future development. If you frequently put him in situations that involve social interaction with his peer group, it can make a big positive impact on the child’s self-confidence. Make him join a kid’s club, visit other people with your child, don’t let him spend his days overly attached to you.
5. Don’t Use Shaming as a Discipline Tactic
Shaming is a behavior that some parents engage in, when they lose patience with their children, or when they attempt to discipline their children. While you might ‘discipline’ your child with these kinds of behaviors short-term, the child might end up with low self-confidence and lack of ability to function socially. So show your child that you are proud of them, and when they ‘’screw up’’ criticize the child’s behavior, not the whole person of the child.